


I Will Murder the Goddamn Asshole Who Stuck Me Here

by Sai Cannopy Cé (Sai_Cannopy)



Series: Flowey's World AU [1]
Category: Gravity Falls, Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Cancelled, Gen, a lot of the characters will appear slowly, flowey being possibly more humane? who knows?, it's gonna be a lot of time jumping, maaaaaaybe might do some chapters with chara and bill talking but whooo knoooowsss, more characters will be added as the series continues, some characters will either be hinted or shown via flowey's dreams/flashback, sorry for the massive amount of characters here, there will be more chapters when dipper and mabel come over
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-15
Updated: 2018-04-01
Packaged: 2018-05-01 17:20:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 2,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5214299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sai_Cannopy/pseuds/Sai%20Cannopy%20C%C3%A9
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Somehow a little flower managed to find himself stuck in a bizarre town with a group of idiots.</p>
<p>Some were monsters, most were humans. One was a bloody annoying demon.</p>
<p>If there was one thing he wished for, it was death or him going back to his friends.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Damn, You Did What I Couldn't Do

**Author's Note:**

> So here's to me writing a story on an AU created from talking to someone random!
> 
> Woo.
> 
> The AU's called Flowey's World, and it's just him somehow stuck in Gravity Falls forever, only Sans knowing how to get him out. (And maybe Bill, but he doesn't say.)
> 
> These will just be multiple drabbles, mini-stories, and episode-related chapters - might be disjointed really, not meant to be connected. No, there is no known source as to why he stays there - or, I don't know what to really think of him being there. You guys can certainly make the person be whoever it may be from any of the two series. All will mainly be from his point of veiw.
> 
> okay maybe i really do like the idea of gf and ut together don't break a child's dreams
> 
> EDIT: psst, this is open to ideas. i'd like to hear what you guys think

“Oh god, Stanford!”

 

“Bring him back.. Bring him fucking back!”

 

“What about this book — it can’t either! Fuck me!”

 

“Why… why do I just fuck up everything!”

 

Man, this guy was aggravating. He really needed to shut up and stop whining. No one said reunions were all nice.

 

And there go the waterworks. Great.

 

As much as he wanted to just kill the asshole, he still had that sneaking feeling that either Triangle Asshole or Six-fingered Idiot would come back and burn his little body. Not what he wanted - that happened way too many times for his tastes.

 

Maybe he should wa---

 

"Hey, you alright?"

 

Fuck everything, let's just go straight in and mess up this guy's head even more.

 

"What the FUCK!?" There went Journal 1, the book the bloke had been trusted to keep away. "GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME

 

YOU FREAK!"

 

So much for little nice talks.

 

"ExCUUUUsssssseeee me? I am no FREAK - okay, yes I am - but isn't your brother one too?"

 

"SHUT UP YOU PIECE OF SHIT!"

 

"Well aren't you one too?"

 

"FUCK YOU AND YOUR LITTLE FLOWER BODY!"

 

"Yeesh, take a chill pill, idiot."

 

"I'M NO --- I'm no.... I'm..."

 

The man suddenly just balled himself up. Was the man broken already? That wasn't fun at all anymore.

 

Man, he really was like Bill and Chara.

 

"... Look, I'm sorry." No he wasn't. "But I know of a way to bring your brother back."

 

The slow response he received was aggravating, but at least the flower now had the man's attention.

 

"Yo-you do?"

 

Did he want to tell him? Did he want to give this stupid man a chance at redemption - something he was given by others? Would he be nice for once?

 

Yes.

 

"Why, yes I do~"

 

But only for the sake of not seeing that  _child_ again.


	2. Where's a Graveyard When I Need It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really wanted to do a scene like this.
> 
> Heads up - the children are coming soon.

“OH, I JUST WANT TO—“

 

“Yeah, flower? Do what you want. Don’t care.”

 

OH GOD, this human went from okay to brutally annoying. “JUST GO UPSTAIRS. GO EAT. THERE ARE PEOPLE LINED UP!”

 

“Yeah yeah, do that later.”

 

“….Do you even know the time?”

 

The man’s silence was enough of an explanation to him.

 

 

When eager tourists came rolling in, some asked about his messy look. Stan simply said that he just tripped and fell down the stairs or that a cat got him good.

 

If the conman learned anything, it was to never mess with that cat again.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that was how the portal never finished on time the end everyone go home
> 
> end of the au


	3. At Least It Wasn't a Knife

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was going to do the children being born, but i went with meeting old man mcgucket. he doesn't know anyone other than bill and stanford/stanley's last names (well, 'last name' for bill).
> 
> and this will probably be among the laziest of my updates.

Checking on Fiddleford?

 

Singlehandedly the weirdest interaction with a human.

 

Okay, maybe not so much compared to _her._

 

“What you darn thing looking at?” The man yelled at Flowey. God, he was in worse condition than when he quit.

 

That portal did something… But how did he not remember --

 

“OOOF!” All he knew was that something hit him hard in the face. “You!”

 

“I know you a part of those damn groups of teens, I know it! You’re along them to take me out!”

 

Wa-was he insane? Now he was curious about what ole Fiddle did to himself.

 

“Don’t you remember lil me, Fiddle?” The flower tried asking his old pal.

 

Again something struck him, but not as hurtful as before. At this point Flowey couldn’t even understand the words of the man - they were farfetched and fuzzy. Man, what the hell was that idiot throwing.

 

Anyways, there was no need to stay there. If Fiddleford ever found something that could cut and threw it, there was no possible way for him to live.

 

He didn’t want to be reminded of that again.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some other chapter ideas are:
> 
> * the twin's birth (the old man just so happy)  
> * the blind eye society  
> * another fight between the flower and the man (possibly in between the start and the twin's birth)  
> * soos's hiring  
> * NIGHTMARES
> 
> so many ideas. if you guys want, i can certainly put any interactions between bill, stanford, fiddleford, and the monsters before the author left their dimension.
> 
> as well as the flower waking in the forest
> 
> i am so hyped for this - i need moar


	4. Sohdvh grq'w!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am upset inside like no tomorrow
> 
> please keep in mind i will continue if this and separation of children go over the season finale because seriously why stop now.  
> (#prayforallthepinesbecausewynaut)
> 
> if you cannot read some of the text, then go here - eeemo.net

Flowey couldn't remember being in the dark. Maybe it was a prank by Stanley, or he was dreaming everything all.

 

Or- or Bill!

 

The appearance of the classic knife told him otherwise.

 

"I҉̗̣̥̝f͈̭̘̮͚̯̤͡m̘̠m͔̪͈̼̣̤͈p̧̙,̥͍̹͎̹̳̳ ̮̜̲̩̠̱p̦͈̝͉͇ḿ̠̦̖͈̣̟̭e̥͓͎ ̛̞̲̫̳̭̟q̟̟͓̖̙ͅb̤̫͍̫͞m͏.͚̥͍͓͝."

 

"H-howdy, Chara! N-n-nice to meet you again! What brings you here?" No no no no leave now you absolute shit not now not ever.

 

"X̛̫̰̜̞̮̮̝i̦̭̼z͚̝͚̳̺͓͜,̙͖̙ ҉̭J̙̦̰̕'҉̹̜n̷ ͙͚̙͇k͓̗̼͎̱͘v̯̰́t̸͕̳ų̳̟͍ ̛̥̺̩̩̞d̰̬i̠̙f̺̟̞d̻̙̝̲͖̩͔l͓̥̠͓̜̤̤͝j̖͕̹̫̪o̠̙h̡͍̙̯ ͉v͈̙q̞͕̟̟̘͎̯ ̹͈̤̻͍̩p̖̩͡o͇͎͉̭̱͎̱ ͓̭̘ͅb̮̬̦̗̲͕o̮̺͓͝ ̸͖̖͕̲̦p͍͝m͉͇̠̤͙͎ẹ̪̳͜ ̬̰g̭̀s̬͖͔͖͇̥̺̀j̗f͕̣̤o̥̣̳̞͇͈̮e̮͉ͅ ҉̰p̷͈̫͚g̗ ̦͕̜͙̀ͅn̘̹̣̳͓̬j̸͉̤o͝f̛̱~̱͈̼"

 

God, she needed to leave.

 

Now.

 

"Uh, so sorry! But your friend is really busy at the moment. C-could you perhaps talk another time?" With how the girl was leaning over him, this was a time to leave. "B-bye!"

 

As Flowey tried to zip away, his stem was grabbed.

 

Ow ow ow ow let go please let me live I don't want to die leave me alone I did nothing wrong God no --

 

"Z҉̪p͈̱̹̜͚v̷̙̭͍͖̳̗͎?͕͇̜̭̼ ̞̝̺̬̱̼̲M͓͍f̡̥̺͍b̫̼w̺̥̺̖̟f̨̖͙̮̲̺̠?̬̯

 

" _B҉̞͙̞̲T̤̗̻ ̘̬̭͘J̵̠͔̬̘G̝͔͎̻.̸̹̹͍̙̻ͅ._ "

 

And that was when a tired-as-hell roommate promptly whacked him in the head before a knife stabbed his little head. Why did he have to be hit to be woken, he didn't know.

 

But Stanley sure as hell did not like waking up to the screeching of a tormented child. Not one bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why is gravity falls the goddamn fandom that makes me cry so much over the two main characters and their alternative foils
> 
> it's so perfectly done.
> 
> byyyyyyeeee heart
> 
> key: 1
> 
> title: 3


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eeeeey
> 
> i got a headache
> 
> i hate all the chapters i've written
> 
> what a wonderful evening
> 
> someday i'll get to my other onesssss
> 
> (okay i'm still dodging the whole birth of the children but what do i name the kid? i don't know, and all my ideas are shite. also, i need a life where i'm not feeling guilty over a gosh-darns reply so bad at them eeee)

“I am going to kill you.”

 

“Yeah yeah, keep saying that. Don’t care.”

 

“You mother- I _will fucking do so if you—“_

 

_“_ Wait a minute.

 

“You’ve said that so many times.

 

“Yet you’ve never -“

 

“Eh? Am I missing something?”

 

“YOU CAN’T KILL ME!”

 

“Eh?!”

 

“Haha! Take that, you fucking shit!”

 

“Oh yes, you’re dad would be proud. If he loved you.”

 

“Oh wow, you’ve wounded me. Try something new, kid.”

 

“I’m no kid, I’ve lived for almost a —“

 

“Blah blah blah, don’t care for that.

 

“Since you think that blabbing away will get you away with the truth, why not try?”

 

“Don’t feel like it.”

 

“Oh? Did I wound you now? Heh. Means I’ve won.”

 

“YOU DIDN’T!”

 

“Then show me! Show me what you’ve got. Then maybe we’ll see.”

 

“……”

 

“……”

 

“……”

 

“Are you—“

 

“I AM YOU PIECE OF FUCK GIVE ME SOME FUCKING TIME!”

 

“…..”

 

“……”

 

“Is your face the only power you have?”

 

“N-n-no, that’s not — SHUT UP! I DON’T UNDERSTAND — SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> won't be posting anything tomorrow (will force myself if i have to)
> 
> why? well, still need to do work, write the next chapter for SoC, and the next hellish episode of Gravity Falls
> 
> please don't go killing off characters Alex


	6. Damn Children's Names

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *hears the shouts of "Liar! Liar! Liar" from MST3000 playing in the background*
> 
> (I said in another story that that would be my last - I fucking cannot do this.)
> 
> I really wanted to get to this as soon as possible - it was a favorite topic of mine. I'm wondering if Shermie could differentiate the two Stans - who the fuck knows.
> 
> Also, fuck typing on a mobile device.

Flowey thought that the Stans had no remaining connections to his family.

Apparently not, as now he was being pestered by the picture of two children.

Twins, to be more exact. (And he thought it was enough with Chara and Frisk….)

The conman - what a perfect liar - was blabbering over how adorable the monstrosities were, how squishy their baby bodies were, etc etc. Hell, the man was even talking of how he might be involved in their lives.

Should the flower pop that bubble of happiness?

….

“So, what’re their names?”

“Eh? Weren’t you listening?” Oh, so he had said something along that line. “I said their names were Mabel and —”

“M-mabel?!” Flowey interrupted with his laughter, what a stupid name! “W-who the fuck. Names their child. Mabel?”

Okay, that was not the best of things to say.

Flowey knew he was just lucky to be fast, as he heard a loud scream of anger echo from the basement along with strings of curses. Thank the gods that for that luck.

 

Hopefully when (oh great, now the man was rubbing off him) those two children got here, Stanley would not speak a word of this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't murder me for not giving my idea of Dipper's real name. I cannot think of a good one that could fit the twins' background - and really, why would Dipper's real name be Alex?


	7. So About Work....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Headcannoning that because Flowey can’t use any of his powers - from beginning of game to ending - he can’t hurt anyone physically as well as take anyone’s SOUL (*cough* he kinda tried with Bill - you can’t take from a demonic being like him)

“Ok, are you going to hire him or not? The kid’s been here so many damn times, you’d think he’d lose his legs!”  
  
“Shut it, flower! I’ll tell him today!”  
  
“Sure, sure,” Flowey said as he disappeared. With his disappearance, Stanley went over to have a discussion with the boy.  
  
The flower hated how he had grown so comfortable with such a disagreeable - and tease-able - man. Why, it was almost as if she was here, which, sadly, would be —  
  
Wait.  
  
Sadly?!  
  
“Kid, look, I know you wanna work here, but—“ Stanley’s voice interrupted his thoughts, and he sneaked his face around the wall he was hidden behind.  
  
“Don’t worry about me, Mister Pines, I’ll be alright. I can work for no pay! Just let me—“  
  
“But —“  
  
“Hey, what kind of flower has a face like that?”  
  
Shit.  
  
When had he pulled himself almost all the way out? Oh god, think of the stories — Wait, why was he worried about that?!

Speaking of face…  
  
“He doesn’t want you here! Scram, brat, before I make you!” How could he pass such an opportunity like this?  
  
“Wow, this thing can talk? Mister Pines, I never thought you had a talking robot flower!” Oh.  
  
Oooooooooohhhh——  
  
“You goddamn son of — mmmph!” Before the flower could spew his anger at the clearly excited boy, a hand - Stanley, that cheeky fucker - was smashed into his face, covering his mouth.  
  
That smile on this asshole’s face -  
  
he was going to kill this asshole when he could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not writing/posting anything within a month or so! School, stress, finals, ships & fics, and being pretty tired last week stopped me from writing at allllll. I feel bleh about this chapter overall. Maybe the next one might be better? Idk, but I’d really like to update my other UT story. But….. *silently stares* how do I do Alpyhs and Mettaton.
> 
> Anyways, I really hope to try to push in a monthly publish for whatever I can. Still thinking about a beta reader, but I’d probably might have my sister do that for the ones I have in mind. Or Nina, or Taylor. If they have time.
> 
> ugh, I got so many ideas for my own personal stories, I haven’t even finished them….. *cries*
> 
> (if I fucked up with Soos please tell me idk how to work him)


	8. Another One Bites the Dust

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still celebratory week for the finale! Another chapter - and the last for the month - will be out. I'm kind of skipping for this one, but tell me if you wanna find out *wink wink*
> 
> What? I can't spoil today's story! Ya gotta find out for yourselves.

"Last time I checked, you were useless."  
  
"So are you, bubblehead."  
  
Here the two went again, at the number of times at numerous.  
  
How many times had Soos tried to pull them away? Numerous.  
  
How many times had Stanley simply bet on the two with no one? Numerous.  
  
Flowey didn’t have any true problem with the other - Wendy, she kept telling him numerous times. It was just that she was annoying. She over stepped everything. She complained about everything. She was lazy while the others worked. So much.  
  
She should be grateful he let her even take a step here.  
  
Okay, so maybe he did have a list of problems.  
  
“Yeah, but you’re doing jack shit!” Flowey growled, face turning to his worst.  
  
“And you do too, Daisy. Plus, no one’s buying anything at the moment. No customers equals no work at the moment. It’s not like - welcome to the Mystery Shack!” A quick interruption from another ignorant group of tourists. All looking rather stupid, in the flower’s eyes as he kept his expression still until they passed. Wendy brought her face back into view after the group left with Stanley (who could oh so obviously see another argument - and see it). “It’s not like I’m hurting anyone or anything if I have break every so often. What, are the multiple invisible customers going to get sad that a girl isn’t going around, doing every little thing while they’re enjoying themselves?”  
  
“No, but—“  
  
“I win then.”  
  
“YOU!” Flowey hissed, his anger already far above his point of anger. “I WILL RIP YOUR GUTS OUT RIGHT NOW IF I COULD!”  
  
“But you can’t!” Mr. Mystery himself - how did he get the tour done so quickly - said happily and lazily as he turned up the corner, moving his hands along the top of the money. “You would’ve done so loooong ago if you could. And stop harassing my workers - I’ll start pulling off those petals of yours if you keep that up.”  
  
He took a long gulp. He didn’t know how long it would take to regenerate any part of himself in this world - not like before.  
  
“And you, kiddo.” The conman turned his lecture to the other. Finally. “Get back to work, and put this away.”  
  
Once the money was handed, he left.  
  
A scream produced out of the monster’s mouth. “WHAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTT?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another one can’t stand the other :3
> 
> I have more plans for this story! I really have a hard time doing the others some times because I get so into this one. It’s just so much fun doing Flowey and Bill! Obvious reason: I have more confidence in this over the other stories.
> 
>  
> 
> Ok, but also: this is so far one of my favorites - the first and next one are probably my best, mainly because, well, Bill, and a flower torturing and trying to comfort a grown-ass man who is broken at that moment. huehue


	9. Ghprqv Duh Zruvh Wkdq Prqvwhuv - Qr Nlgglqj

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mmmm nope didn't fuck up with how I wanted to post stories this week, nope, nuh uh
> 
> (ok but Deadpool and fanfics made me forget to post yesterday, so sorry)

“Why, hello there, Sunflower!”  
  
Who, what, where— Ford?!  
  
The flower looked at his accomplice, his shelterer - and saw glowing eyes at midnight.  
  
Eyes…. didn’t glow, right? Unless they were her, but she wasn’t here. No, she wasn’t  
  
“Right now you’re confused! I totally understand, hehe.” The… infiltrator, let out a small chuckle before blinking. Or winking? What the hell was wrong with someone if they couldn’t blink right…. “I’m Bill - Bill Cipher! This poor guy let me inhabit his body in exchange for information. And eternal friendship~”  
  
Oh good God he was going to throw up with how he spoke. The flower wasn’t even given the chance to fully take things in before the demon - yes, now demon, it was so obvious now - spoke once more. “Oh, don’t give me that look. Weren’t you doing the same with whatever that girl’s name was?”  
  
Chara. Oh God.  
  
He knew her.  
  
He needed to leave.  
  
Now.  
  
“Oh, don’t be so worrisome! I promise I won’t tell her a thing!” A grip on his stem stopped all movement.  
  
Oh God he needed to leave now, he didn’t want any part in this, he wanted home —  
  
“But you should really stop worrying about anything, kid. I won’t hurt anyone - even you! - if you don’t keep quiet.”  
  
Mother!  
  
Father!  
  
Anyone!  
  
“Aw, what buzz kill. Whelp, since you’re in no condition to make for small talk, then I’ll leave you to your own world! Seeya later!  
  
“Asriel~”  
  
 **Is anyone there!?**  
  
 _But nobody came._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *says the badger song with bill, flowey, and torture filling in the words*
> 
> I am back to feeling so proud of myself for such a pretty simple story, whoops.
> 
> Funny how one AU makes you feel this way :3
> 
> Title - 3


	10. Author's Note

Yo!

Sorry I haven't updated at all. I've been busy  ~~and lazy~~ and having been gaining and losing interest in writing. It's like I have it, but then Lazy and Tumblr and Youtube and Music love to tell me not to do that and then it becomes a roller coaster and then school and ugh.

Honestly, I would have been posting more chapters if, as stated above, I got my ass and pushed myself to doing it. But alas, I have that and problems with school and now having to deal with more shit. ~~(Also library but that's for Tumblr to talk about.)~~

I don't have much time since I'm hitting junior year, and, sure, yeah, it's starting off easy.

**But if AP World History told me anything last year, it was that yeah, it's not fucking fun.**

I got a full schedule with two AP courses, an art class I know I'll be shit at because I have no fucking talent in art if we go bigger, and Spanish 3. And I have heard some  _lovely stories about the Spanish teacher there..._ (Also, something is wrong with his arm muscles and I feel very weird being around him.) I'm sure I'll be fine, but once we hit Quarter 2 then I'll be in deep shit.

For right now, I don't think I'll update until Thanksgiving/Christmas break, but don't bet on it. I'll try to give one more update for one of the few stories here, and maybe I might post my characters/own stories here to motivate myself. However, I will be stopping with the UT x GF one - I don't feel that much into UT as before, and I certainly don't feel like continuing it.

Again, I'll try to get back into the game, and I'm sorry for those who came on here to find out if I actually did update this series. I do have a chapter, though, and will try to get it up as soon as possible, but... a little patience here, okay? Again, I wish I could actually say sorry, but I ain't got much to say.

ALSO PLEASE, IF YOU GUYS HAVE ANY IDEAS OR QUESTIONS, JUST GO VISIT ME [HERE](http://make-baby-football-happen.tumblr.com/), AS I'M LITERALLY JUST SCROLLING HERE HALF THE TIME AND WAITING TO SEE SOMETHING DING IN MY ASK/MESSAGE BOX. (I kinda get a little expressive.)

Thanks for sticking here, and hope you guys have a great day. (And I get to make a day better with a have-a-good-day saying.)

\- Sai/Peri

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NBCZF TPNFPOF XJMM VODPEF TGGP.....


	11. Giddy for Giddy-on

I'll come back to this, I swear I will.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy april fools folks. i'll maybe get back to this one day.

**Author's Note:**

> flowey and stanley hate each other
> 
> the end


End file.
